


Misery Desires Company

by JustCallMeNed



Category: Brave (2012), Frozen (2013), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012), Strange Magic (2015), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Gen, Mole-Woman-Rapunzel, On Hiatus, Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons, Role Reversal Type Thing, We'll go with that, Why Did I Write This?, and she's Rapunzel and therefore has a lot of hair, and then discovered that my Bog Queen looked and acted a lot like Merida, as an excuse to research flower language, have a fic, not a lot of those actually get characters in this fandom, oh and Rapunzel's one of those mole creatures, started doing this for strange magic week day one, strange magic au, things got out of hand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCallMeNed/pseuds/JustCallMeNed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a very public, incredibly vitriolic break-up with his cheating (and possibly evil) fiancée, Crown Prince Jack of the Fairy Kingdom has sworn off of romance for good.  Meanwhile, the ferocious (and definitely evil) Wisp Queen of the Dark Forest has actually declared war on love and more specifically the primrose potion used to acquire said love.</p><p>Too bad that literally nobody else got that memo.</p><p>Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons, Strange Magic AU, pairings are mostly canon save for all the Jerida.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worlds Apart

It was no secret that the Light Fields saw many, _many_ perfect spring days, but that fact didn’t lessen the collective sigh of relief the Fairy Kingdom breathed when the sun rose into a flawlessly blue sky on their prince’s wedding morn. This joyous event had been greatly anticipated for so long that a few naysayers had been afraid (and still were afraid, come to think of it) that it would be rained upon at the last moment.  
  
The prince had not been amongst that number himself, but some of their mutterings had reached him despite his best efforts to remain optimistic. Hence the fact that he was currently a fidgeting bundle of nerves searching for anything to do with his hands that _wasn’t_ pulling at his uncharacteristically coiffed brown hair (because if he ruined it _again_ , Eugene would _kill_ him). Thankfully, there happened to be an old-fashioned tradition amongst fairy couples specifically crafted for jittery brides and grooms who managed to be completely ready for their wedding three hours before the ceremony began: the _corsage_.  
  
And so, that blissful morning found Crown Prince Jack flittering madly around his kingdom in all his finery, searching for the perfect flower petals to craft as a gift for his beloved.  
  
_Let’s see, honeysuckle, violets, or roses? Roses. You can’t go wrong with roses. Now, where are the roses, again…?_  
  
It was significantly harder than it looked to fly in full-body armor when one’s mind was fully applied to the task. When one’s mind happened to be racing with a limited knowledge of flower language, a small bit of apprehension, and not a little prenuptial giddiness, it was even harder. One slight misjudgment of wind speed and wing power later, and Jack hit the undergrowth in a heap of green-gilt bronze and sky blue wings.  
  
He lay prone for about a second before he struggled upright. “Another perfect landing by the hopeless dope representing you and your people,” he muttered to himself, before pulling at the soft, silky material that was trying to become one with his face. “Look at what your tax money buys for you! Where am I?”  
  
His question was answered by the astonished gape of a hulking, frog-like creature several yards in front of him. A goblin; he’d never before seen one up close.  
  
“…Oh, no.”  
  
His eyes darted to his hands, where he was greeted with a dangerous, deceptively cheerful shade of soft pink. “Primroses?”  
  
The goblin recovered from its surprise, and lurched menacingly toward him, joined by several of its fellows which seemed to melt out of the shadows. Jack threw the primrose petal away from him and leaped into the air, wings screaming at him as he flapped them harder than he’d ever yet had reason to do.  
  
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean – hey!” He lashed out a kick in the face of one particularly quick goblin which had got ahold of his ankle. “I’m going, I’m going!”  
  
He only barely managed to get away from the goblins’ grabbing hands, barreling back into the Light Field’s side of the Primrose Border as if hell itself was on his heels. As far as he was concerned, it was.  
  
***  
  
The goblins stared bemusedly at the retreating figure of the fairy. So that’s what they looked like; they’d never before seen one up close.  
  
Behind the main troop of big, martial goblins, three smaller ones – nearly identical in their short, blue-skinned, toad-like appearances – looked at each other with worry.  
  
“Was he _tryin’_ tah take a primrose?” asked one quietly.  
  
“We have ta tell ‘er,” was the only reply managed before a second one ran further back into the Dark Forest, grim purpose in its eyes.  
  
“She’s nah gonna be ‘appy!” screeched the third, as it followed the other two with a subtle limp.  
  
“I’ll tell ‘er. You just come wi’ me. Present a united front.”  
  
“Oh, aye!”  
  
“Tha’s a guid idea!”  
  
The run took a good thirty minutes to complete, and by the end, all three wee messengers were breathless. But such was their devotion that they did not pause or even slow their gait until they had come to their ruler’s castle, which was as dark and formidable and mysterious as their ruler. It was carved into a large, hollowed tree-stump on the edge of a misty ravine, its twine-and-driftwood drawbridge unfurled like a tongue from a fearsome, bleached bear’s skull that served as the front gate. Some said the Dark Forest’s queen had killed the bear herself when she was in her youth; she had never done anything to dissuade those rumors.  
  
The three goblins waddled past the skull without blinking, for they had seen it many times. They also navigated the tight maze of dimly-lit passages inside with the ease borne of much practice, never stopping, not even to allow one of the castle’s domestic spiders safe passage across the hallway. A few short minutes later, panting quietly from their exertion, the two halted within a dank throne room, which had a higher ceiling than most other parts of the building and was dimly lit by a skylight opposite the throne in question. A figure sat there in rigidly perfect posture, the bright gleam of predatory eyes the only visible feature of a face below long, wild tresses of red moss.  
  
“Milady, news from th’ border!” shouted the goblin who had led the way to the castle, easing into a casual parade rest at a respectful distance from the throne. It then nudged its quiet companion on the shoulder, mumbling, “Tell ‘er.”  
  
“But you said…”  
  
“She likes _you_.”  
  
“No she doesnae…”  
  
“Out with it,” the figure on the throne snarled. “I havenae all day fer this.”  
  
The limping goblin rolled its eyes and split the difference by answering for its companions. “A fairy came intah th’ forest, milady.”  
  
“Yes, _and?_ ”  
  
“And…and we…we think that he…he tried to take a primrose.”  
  
_“WUT?”_  
  
The small goblin flinched, while its companions settled for a startled blink at the queen’s outburst. Knowing well her temper, they braced themselves to run. The queen advanced upon them slowly, menace in every step.  
  
“Och, I _hate_ this time o’ year. _Spring_.” The gleaming eyes rolled scornfully. “Double yehr efforts at the border. Get more goblins in yehr patrols. Cut down _all_ o’ those primroses.”  
  
The two goblins backed away, as the queen once again proclaimed a well-remembered, oft-repeated rant.  
  
“No primroses, no potion. No potion, no… _love_ ,” she spat, delicate damselfly wings twitching behind her back. “For what does love accomplish in th' end? Naught but the destruction of will, the topplin' of dynasties, the destruction of the very foundation of order in our kingdom. Love is just another word for _chaos_!”  
  
She leaned into the light, exposing her pallid blue-green skin, her eyes flashing murderously. “Destroy the primroses, or so ‘elp me, I _will_ destroy _you_.”  
  
And that was all the dismissal the trio required. They ran from their ruler, knowing all too well that she never threatened, she promised.  
  
The goblin queen watched them retreat, sinking back into her seat of bear’s backbone. Her hands folded primly over her lap with a fierce sort of decorum as she sat again with seamless grace, glaring hatefully out into the shadows. _Only a few more weeks, and this all will be done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, everything starts out basically the same way it did in the movie. However, there are quite a few things that will be different, I promise...


	2. Fools Rush In

The queen mother of the Dark Forest lingered in the hallways nearest the throne room, taking note of every piece of business her daughter sifted through each day. For years she had done this, long before the current queen had even been born, when the old king still held court in the same room, adorning his scales with bear hide. She found that it provided her family with a necessarily distant perspective to have one close to them analyze the same things they did but from a different point of view. The old king had been appreciative of her talents; the queen now heeded her wisdom as well, albeit with her typical impatience. Six eyes were better than two, after all.

And so it was that she had heard the queen renew the crusade against the primroses even as the order was given. She happened to be in line for her own royal petition at the time, and was able to anticipate which tunnel at least one of the goblin couriers would use in its flight. All she had to do was step out into the corridor for the dutiful messenger to halt in its tracks, well aware of their comparative positions to be appropriately respectful.

“Mornin’, Hamish,” she said, inclining her head casually towards the little goblin.

“Goo’ mornin’, mum.” Hamish’s tone was polite, but his eyes were wary; the queen mother had a reputation for guile, and he likely did not want to be caught in her verbal traps like many of the other goblins had been.

The tall, elegant spider-woman smiled down at him, her white teeth friendly despite their sharpness. “I could use yehr help, m’dear…”

“No.”

Drat, he knew what topic she was favoring; she did not natter on about it _that_ much. “But surely you find this ‘ban on love’ somewhat distasteful, yes?”

“No.”

“Ah, but Hamish, if _you_ were to offer yehr honest opinion on one of yehr sister’s new suitors, perhaps she would listen? I’ve found the nicest young…I didnae tell ya t’come out yet, yah lout!”

Hamish did not even answer her this time. He stepped carefully around the queen mother’s handspun silk robes and then broke into a run, disappearing down the hall before she could say so much as nay.

Elinor pinched the bridge of her nose with two long, black fingers. This was going to be a _long_ day.

***

Jack didn’t stop flying until he had put the Fairy Kingdom’s brook in between him and the Dark Forest. Even then, he was still hyperventilating. Random brawls at the border happened all the time, but he was a prince; if he was recognized, it could start an incident, maybe even a war. And even Jack, who was not above a little mischief when the time was right, knew that war would be a Very Bad Thing at any given time.

At least he still had the _corsage_. Things could be worse.

“Jack? Is that you?”

He pulled himself out of his funk at the familiar sound of a deep female voice, just in time to catch a glimpse of a shapely figure in white before it abruptly whisked away behind a nearby fern.

“Gothel?”

“Don’t look!” hissed the fairy lady from within her hiding place. “You know that it’s bad luck if you see me before the wedding!”

“I didn’t see you!” Jack protested. “Well…maybe a little…”

“ _Jack_ …”

“Only a little, I promise!”

“What on earth are you doing out here, anyway? You’re _supposed_ to be getting ready for the wedding!”

“I…I _am_ ready.” He’d been the one doing the bulk of the planning, after all; Gothel’s job as head healer in the infirmary took up a great deal of her time, and he didn’t want to overburden her. He’d also been dressed before sunrise, and had his armor polished to the point that he could see his face in it a week ago. Did she think he wasn’t taking this seriously?

Well, he _did_ have a reputation for being a bit of a rogue. _Oh, well_.

“That reminds me,” he said, inching closer to the fern. “I’ve got something for you.”

“ _Really_? Oh, my Kingcup, you shouldn’t have.” Gothel’s well-manicured hand materialized, showing off the glossy wooden engagement ring he had painstakingly whittled himself several months ago. Jack grinned and attempted to slip the _corsage_ onto her wrist, but she pulled away again with a sharp gasp just before he could manage it.

“Jack, have you been in the Dark Forest?”

“Um…”

“Ugh, of course you have. You practically _reek_ of goblin.”

“Well…”

“You could have been killed! What were you thinking?”

“I…wasn’t? Because it was an accident?”

Gothel sighed deeply, and he could just picture the long-suffering look on her face. “Honestly, Jack, you take _everything_ for granted. Have you given _any_ thought as to what I would have gone through if you had been hurt in that awful place?”

His wings drooped a little bit, guilt starting to take root as he thought about that. “But…well, I wasn’t hurt. In fact,” he shrugged, trying to make his voice sound a bit more cheerful, “it was probably good practice for when I’m king, and I have to go over there all the time.”

There was a tinkling laugh from behind the fern, and Jack oddly felt quite a bit smaller upon hearing it. “Oh, you men are all the same; thinking with your swords. At least the goblins will know better than to mess with _us_ when you’re king.”

“That’s the thing,” Jack started, his heart fluttering as they finally hit upon a topic he had been meaning to discuss for a while, “I was thinking...”

“Oh, _that’s_ a good sign.”

“Ahem, well, I was thinking that maybe we could try talking to the goblins instead of fighting with them. We could open the border! That way, everyone could go where they want, without having to be afraid of each other. Just think of the possibilities!”

“Hmm.” Gothel snaked her hand back around the fern, obviously angling for him to take it. “The only possibilities I really care about, right now, are the ones that include _you_ with _me_. My future king.”

Jack entwined his fingers with hers. “My future queen.”

She pressed her palm warmly against his. “Now, I have to go. Don’t look! You want to have good luck, right?”

“Right.” He placed his hands over his eyes. “You’re safe.”

There was a flutter of wings from behind the fern. “See you at the ceremony, my little Kingcup!”

Jack mentally counted to twenty before he opened his eyes again. A cursory glance around him proved that his beloved was nowhere to be seen, but just to be safe he would count to twenty again before he started off toward the castle.

He didn’t even make it to ten before two armored squirrels bounded out of the grass right in front of him. One squirrel, a dark grey, was rider-less; the other, a rare albino, chuttered angrily at the figure on its back.

“ _There_ you are!” exclaimed the brunet fairy, ignoring his steed’s annoyance with him as he dismounted. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Yes, Eugene.”

“Oh gods, your _hair!_ ” Eugene started plucking twigs and leaves out of Jack’s mane, tutting disapprovingly. “It looks like I can fix it, but you’re lucky. What happened, did you crash into a thistle bush?”

“Something like that.”

“Now, see, _this_ is why we don’t go flying around like a maniac in full armor. We _ride_ like a maniac in full armor. That’s what Anemone here is for, right?”

The dark grey squirrel clicked quietly in agreement.

“I’m _fine_ …”

“What is _that_?”

The tone of outright disgust in his foster brother’s voice caught Jack’s attention for the first time in the entire conversation. “It’s a _corsage_. Oh, man, I forgot to give it to Gothel.”

“Yeah, you’re not giving her that.”

“Why not?”

Eugene lifted one incredulous eyebrow. “Because it’s…not nearly as gorgeous as she is.”

Jack smiled rapturously. “She _is_ gorgeous, isn’t she? How did I get so lucky?”

Eugene rolled his eyes and plucked the _corsage_ from Jack’s hand. “I did all the flower arrangements for you, that’s how. Really, violets _and_ roses? Are you colorblind?”

“No, just in love.” The smaller fairy swung himself up onto his squirrel, ignoring the slight scoff from his companion. A pensive look passed over his face for a moment. “Eugene, can I ask you something personal?”

“Yes. I am, in fact, much prettier than you. Sorry to break it to you bluntly.”

“Funny, but I’m trying to be serious here. Do you think Gothel loves me as much as I love her?”

Eugene mounted his own squirrel casually. “Of course she loves you! Who wouldn’t? You’re the second most handsome fairy in the regiment!”

Jack could tell that Eugene was trying to keep him from panicking, but it didn’t seem to be working. “You mean that?”

The taller fairy looked him square in the face. “ _Absolutely_. And you didn’t hear me say that. I’ve got a reputation as a heartless captain to keep.”

“Too late, everyone already knows you’re a romantic sap.”

Eugene winked. “And the ladies appreciate me for that.”

***

The ride back to the castle was fairly tranquil. The two fairies passed through the small town where the Light Fields’ farmers lived, waving politely as the elves and mole-people came out to express their congratulations. They picked up their pace to get to the fairy stronghold, arriving about thirty minutes before the wedding was about to start.

Eugene laid an arm around Jack’s shoulder, leading him through the dark stone hallways toward the barracks. “Now, I had a feeling that you might need some help with a _corsage_ ,” he said, ducking into his quarters quickly. “So I had this made up for you last night.”

The _corsage_ was made mostly of ivy leaves, which promised fidelity; in the center were two bright red, delicate Pink petals, which signified pure and ardent love. It was elegant in its simplicity, and would nicely complement Gothel’s wings and eyes.

“It’s perfect.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ve got to give it to Gothel right now.”

“Isn’t that bad…” but Jack had already sprinted down the hallway toward his fiancée’s chambers. Eugene blinked, somewhat surprised that the other fairy had been able to move that fast. “Crud.”

***

Gothel hadn’t been in her chambers, which meant she was probably in the grand ballroom’s antechamber, which had been set aside as a waiting room for the wedding. Jack sprinted there, hoping to at least pass the _corsage_ through the door before the ceremony started.

The golden antechamber doors were ajar, which was odd. Normally fairies took anything to do with bad luck pretty seriously; they’d keep this door shut to prevent him from getting in and ruining everything. Oh, well, that couldn’t be helped; Jack lowered his eyes as he entered the room, thinking there wasn’t time to knock.

Gothel’s caterpillar-silk slippers were in the very center of the floor…as were a couple of bronze armor boots, as a fairy lieutenant would wear. Before he could stop himself, Jack looked up, hoping he had made a mistake.

But there was no mistake. That was plainly Gothel’s short, dark hair, perfectly curled and crowned with daisies. Those were Gothel’s burgundy wings folded gracefully at her back. That was Gothel, his beloved, his one and only…

…And _that_ was Hans, the thirteenth son of a thirteenth son who had just enlisted in the regiment two weeks ago.

Jack stepped back out of the room before they even noticed he was there. Unshed tears stung his eyes as he hurtled back down the hallway toward his chambers. Almost absentmindedly, he tossed Eugene’s pretty little _corsage_ to the side. Nobody was going to be needing flowers today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, two minor notes. The English word "anemone" is actually derived from a Greek word for wind, so Jack still rides the wind in this universe.
> 
> And kingcup is another word for buttercup...and that little nickname's meaning was pretty significant from a floriography standpoint. That's what I love about this movie; the writers managed to sneak in a lot of pretty clever flower language in the background, and figuring those little clues out was well worth the several re-watches I've pulled. Good thing my roommate likes this movie too.


End file.
